Closure.

I have never been the girl that needs closure when it comes to books or movies. I have always loved being able to create my own little ending in my mind or am just content with never knowing what becomes of the characters that I have invested my time and emotions in. So, I was somewhat shocked with myself by having the huge urge to go back to the many places that I have gone to or to follow up with those that I have met while on my volunteering ventures.

I have had the opportunity to return to New Orleans exactly one year from my first trip. It was the most incredible experience seeing how the city had grown and rebuilt since the last time I was there. I was able to drive past the old houses that my team had previously helped to restore and I was filled with the most content feeling of all. Knowing that things were moving forward in the lives of those that we helped was a huge blessing to see in person.

If I had the opportunity to venture back to Panama and revisit the loved ones that I had established in San Felix, David, and those in the Ngobe villages, I would in a heartbeat. I would love to see what is going on in their lives and find out whether the food sources that we helped to build up and mature have truly helped improve their quality of life and whatnot.

Sometimes I have the biggest urge to jump on a plane and just go, leave my life in the States and continue the work that the group that I went with that summer had started. There is never end end of the need of others and I know that there are few that are willing to go so far to help a few villages in the jungle.

In fiction, I am able to dismiss the need for an ending because those people that I invested my time in was in a very shallow fashion, whereas these trips I have take have led to extremely deep emotion connections and the true desire to know how the lives of these incredible people have turned out to be. I suppose there are some things you devote your time to and never see what the true impact is on those you have tried to effect. Knowing that I have tried to do improve a few lives is enough for me to be satisfied.